…funny.

you choose to not only spend your time but share your life and experiences with someone.  it happens so fast and it’s so good and you trust what you want to trust and see what you want to see. and then eventually the shiny fades away and you see what’s really behind the curtain.  that’s the lesson i’ve been trying to learn the past 7 years…in romantic love especially, but also in friendship. there’s always a preview, always a clue, you just choose whether or not to see it.

the most interesting part to me, especially in romantic relationships, is how it ends. it’s so disappointing to see how deeply you deceived yourself. because it is you that’s choosing not to see the previews, the red flags, the…”this is how we will end”. you believe you’re different than those people. because you’re so much better…right? no. you’re no better. you are the same. you believed in someone and that person let you down the same way they have let everyone before you down (to some extent). 

well.  enough of the sad stories.  the lesson, well, i have finally learned it.  with this little nugget of experience comes a shield of distrust that will automatically rise upon any interest in a new individual. and so it goes…and i’m still smiling. i’m still learning. and i am thankful for that.